changed the format of my blog. finally.

See. Every time. I ignore enough to not be bothered anymore. Then you ask for help again.

If I had a choice, I would rather care less than need to handle all this. Each time you talk to me with an issue, I try my best to help out. Nights of discussion on the phone, running around looking at prices, helping with plans before realising you didn't even need it. Just great. Whee. Friends are to make use of only?

Exhausted. Shall nap

Hi. I missed you. I missed coming here to type out everything I'm thinking, but it's been so hectic. And I've neglected you. I'm sorry.

IO finally ended, and I suddenly feel a bit more free, a bit more happy. Though I'm still worried about not handing over completely. Workaholic ttm right. I still checked my chat for any questions after i left.

And I made a new friend through work! Who's not even in sg. Cool sia hahaha.

Anyway it's been a lot of emotional baggage recently, and I just needed to unload.

What really happened? Just 3 months ago you called me, and told me all your frustrations, all your fears. I don't deny it's nice to feel needed, but why did you suddenly change? We could talk for hours, you always messaged me to let me know how things had been going. Then suddenly, just before camp, you started giving short replies. You didn't let me know anything else. I thought it was stress, and it would all be ok after camp. Apparently not. Did you just make new friends or did you just need help previously? Was there really no friendship at all? Were you just in need of a platform to get you better support?

I'm tired. I know I chose this path willingly, and that I fought so hard to get here. Nights of planning and discussing. Nights of rushing here and there to help them out. Nights of checking on the rest to ensure they're able to cope.

But I'm only human 

I often joke that I'm superwoman. Just because I hope I can be. But I'm not. And you can't expect me to be able to take everything you want me to. Just because I admire your determination to succeed doesn't mean I will do anything it takes to help you out. Even if i try. Even if you don't appreciate it.

Shall go and rest before the fuel continues burning. Night night