spent my weekend distracted, but managed to finish a little

okay rockafella was quite nice
but the moshing was a little uncalled for

did superposition and a little of electric field today in macs with yt g and k
argh left so much
and i just cant seem to get into the right mood for work
argh

hope keeps your dreams alive. but hope can also cause the greatest disappointments

so yea im really not in the mood for this right now

macro aims and policies tut + essay
gp topic sentences and some paper i cant rmb
hydroxy tut
vectors fa tmr
gravitation tut
argh
and ct's in a week

please, please concentrate

went lunch with cherie
then ended up eating lunch beside him
hmm our class guys are damn weird

okay so after school went to do revision package for the enrichment lecture
talked a little with lq
some things are so heartwrenching to know
argh

okay tmr got vectors 3 last few qns due
damn tired i cant concentrate now
shall sleep now then complete them tmr morn
yup

rockafella tmr!

today was a very fun day
i laughed so much that my voice changed lol

i guess the funny part started during gp
the guys were playing the thumb game
then throughout they were cracking jokes and stuff
then the relief teacher said 5 min left
they were like saying, oh, still got time left for one game
LOL
essay due today
but i didnt manage to finish
hmm

then during maths i was like telling v that if he can eat 3 skittles at one go without getting his eyes red, i'd give him 20 cents or sth
then n was like, i eat u give me 2 bucks
then i said deal, u eat the whole pack and i give u 2 bucks
haha
bargained from 10 bucks back to 4.50
but im not paying so much
last offer was 3, but new pack
but it was a no
haha

so before cca when i walked into the co-op
zy was like saying its his last day or sth like that
cos of the cabinet thing
hmm haha at first i thought it was true
cos he was like saying must continue with our vision of reno
lol

then during the yusheng part we were like all joking around
like playing with the food and stuff
at least its part of our budget, not from our pockets haha

then nicole was like 'flirting' with the j1s
it was damn funny la
laughed alot
and apparently tmr the new j1s come
then must teach them how to use the register and stuff

aft that went to find om again
there wasnt anyone there inside so we asked the guy who just went out to help
apparently cos he ignored us so we look like we stalking him haha
then he said he wearing blue
so we went back
the chair was blue HAHA
so we sort of think that its cos he saw wrongly

went general office to leave a msg
so disrutive cos we so noisy
keep laughing
like 'why are u avoiding us'
and 'why did u turn into a chair'
and 'why a blue chair of all disguises'
lol
so we wanted to go back property office
and there he was sitting inside
zy opened the door and nicole pushed me in
and the first thing i noticed/ realised was that he was wearing a black shirt
laughed out loud then immediately suppressed it haha
its goign to take 2 more weeks
argh

anw going to do gp essay now
then gravitation
then vectors 3
then chem rev package halogen derivatives
yup

laughter is the best medicine
especially for someone affected by everything that has been going on
work hard, play hard

please dont keep getting my hopes up then crush them again
i wish i'd stop thinking abt all this
but i cant
even had a dream this morn

almost finished phy
have go math and chem left
hmm
looks like tmr is gg

at least i feel better knowing theres only one person opposing it

found out today
although all along they've said it
its been confirmed true today
ouch

maybe this is going to finally be a relief and i can get over it faster

gp hw
then start to mug
ct in 2 weeks
phy and chem by this sat
yup

ate macs with yt and g today aft sch
talked alot abt the 2 new rumours and discussed the old one

yea shall go do gp

why give me hope just to crush it again?

im seriously not in the mood/ condition to do hw
maybe finish q10 for vectors 3, then do econs case study 1, then phy spa
then sleep
idk

there are so many sides to the story
so many different viewpoints
who do i believe?
choose wrongly, it will affect me for another year

i wish decision making was a lot easier
either that, or i can just let go faster

maybe its time to let go
esp when its obvious its not going to happen

i feel like an information counter
easily accessible info
):

anw got loads of hw but not in the mood
got headache

shall finish looking through the courses then sleep
homework? tmr

tired shall sleep soon

if it was really over, could it be that i'd be unhappy abt it?

contradictions

some things are just so hard to decide

yup

during sd there was one mention
on the way to phy spa
and online
3 today

okay im tired
got econs tmr
must jy

phy fa was fine
got 12/15 haha
but it was open book so yea

shall go attempt to finish investment under aggregate demand by tonight

today was an improvement
they started talking abt it, then someone would say shh
thanks(:

but just cos its not being said out loud doesnt mean it isnt true...

need to study for phy fa
not counted, but i want to
ct in 3 weeks
buck up manzz

okay shall go attempt to mug now
and post my photos on fb
lol

woke early this morn
had breakfast with family
and then did some hw in the morning

lunched with ht and ht haha
lol
havent met them in like, a year? two?
talked a little but ate alot
maybe its the strangeness of not talking for so long

then went bai4 nian2 at my last time neighbour's house
quite alot of people there
stayed awhile then went off to supermarket
then home

homework again

now im tired shall sleep soon
photos on fb by this week...

i wish it'd stop, but then it'd mean that the chance is gone
i wish i'd stop thinking abt it, but that'd mean i've given up
and i wish, just a little, that it wont be monosyllable answers everytime, but i'm scared it'll become none
and i wish it didnt bother me so much, but that'd mean that i dont care anymore...

tmr, sch
argh again

maybe thats all going to end with a new year
although maybe, just maybe i enjoyed it
time to let go and look forward...

my cny was packed with activities
went occ on sat evening
had steamboat reunion dinner
which was quite ex, i may add
came home for the non-alcoholic champagne thing

new years day was busy too
played bowling after waking at 8 for breakfast
haha
had lunch at manhattan fish
then went to watch movie
72 tenants of prosperity
alot of actors and actresses we know
and the clothes funny also
then went dinner at some chinese restaurant
nice
played with fireworks at night
plus attempted some hw

so today woke up
breakfast and tennis
then squash
had the 'welcome drink'
then left

lunch had pizza
and dinner tomato soup
6.5 bowls haha

anw have to sleep now

wth just happened
why is it there for the world to see???

its too big a joke to crack

how the heck do i go to sch tmr

zzz

math hw

really no mood la

today, as usual
its been weeks
how long are they going to keep that subject up

maybe, just maybe im ready
i dont really know

maybe only as they say
u wont really know

anw chem test
was average
but maybe cos i didnt really study
abit confusing

math test tmr
havent really studied also
damn tired now
shall try to do if morning duty not many people

tired
but must study for chem

today was alot more obvious
like why smiling during gp
and offering to switch places before mathlec
am glad no one i knew saw

after sch
the prata thing
lol ;p

went to collect my good progress award from the office
and she rmbered who i am
my name also
lol
and apparently alot of people read newspapers
zzz

keep hoping no one else will realise

damn tired
shall sleep early tonight
soon

chem test
math test

zzz

i guess im slowly getting immune to those jokes
though its still funny

i cant decide
dont really want to go look at shoes tmr
rather go home sleep/ do hw/ study for chem and math/ do crafts/ play games
then again, i havent gone out for so long

anw shall do vectors 2 now
at least till 5 or sth
then maybe phy
then study for chem

i wish there was an easier solution to it
thinking wont make it a reality

the prep is done
can start learning anytime im free

anw i wish i had more initiative
or intuition for that matter

sometimes i feel like im ready
others, i feel like im not
hmm i guess i should continue studying for chem now
then maths
then do vectors 2
and electric field
and cant rmb what else

haha

have to admit
i actually enjoyed having them say that
it gave me hope
and i wonder what would happen otherwise

but i want a straight answer too
like, soon

do i still wait for it or move on?

anw had the last mass pe session today
at least thats what they said
i passed running, barely

does the offer of a year ago still hold?
i think its a higher possibility of a yes now

alot of hw
and really tired
shall go finish phy spa ws and study abit before i sleep tonight
or till i fall asleep here
whichever comes first

took a sports car home today
woot
quite shiok
but abit uneasy
the wind very strong
the sun also

very very tired
maybe it was the ride
or maybe its the last few days
pe plus bazaar plus extra duty

abit weird this morn
so many ppl waiting for coop to open
oops
i did wake up earlier
still had jam

good night i shall sleep earlier tonignt

scandal sia
why they keep mentioning it lol
very random leh
people actually blush because of it
anw for some reason the newspaper was cut out
and pasted at the back of our class
haha
two completely different things
that make u feel the same way

shall go do gp project
very tired now

idk whether to laugh or get pissed when they do that

i thought he was kidding at first ytd when he msged me ytd lol
apparently she DID see it on the newspaper,
and there was really such a thing

okay got gp compo tmr
read/ dont read?
reaction kinetics tut now
yup work harder
i need alot more effort to do better

pe today was tiring
but managed to finish it(:
and i felt so much more accomplished than last week
just because i pushed myself harder and didnt care abt whether i could take it
my only target: finish the 2 rounds outside in 14min

shall go do hw now